#21- I am thankful for my husband as a minister
Note that this is written on a Sunday, a very busy Sunday at that. So, that should show just how well my husband does at balancing ministry and family.
I think most ministers would say that their family is priority to them...but unfortunately a lot don't show that. I have been in church all of my life, have been involved in leadership either through my husband or me for several years, worked at and attended a seminary with pastors or pastors to be, so I feel like I have been around a lot of ministers. It is easy for one to say that the church never comes before family, but then I don't know how many I have seen not match that. It is hard to say no to things that seem like it would be good work. How does a spouse or child argue and ask for more time spent at home when it means taking the minister away from "God's work?"
I am grateful that my husband knows that God's work takes place at home first. Some would say that being a good family man is good for his church work...and I'm sure that is true...but that is not my husband's motivation at all. You see, my husband is a Christian way before he is a minister. How he conducts himself as a minister and his motivations in church work is completely reflective of his relationship with God. He doesn't act a certain way at church because it would be good for the church, he acts a certain way because he believes that is how he should live his life as a follower of Christ. He acts the same at a senior citizen's fellowship as he does when he plays volleyball in his free time (well...not exactly but you know what I mean!). I can say this because I know him better than any one else. I know him when he is full of life, happy and taking things in stride. I know him when he is tired, grumpy and frustrated. And he is still the same guy. He will display those different feelings, but keeps his character in it all.
And he makes us a priority. Now, this does not mean that he is home all of the time and skips out on responsibilities that come from being a minister. Rather, it is how he handles himself that makes those times not a problem for us as a family. I mentioned that today was a busy Sunday. Here is what it looked like: I stayed home from church with our son this morning- my minister husband told me I should skip church because it would be helpful as we are potty training. He wasn't worried that it would look bad to have his wife and son skip church. He leaves around 6:15 and came home around 12:30, normal schedule though he came home a little earlier. After a quick lunch it was nap time for the little guy and I joined in. My husband had to leave for a church event at 3:00, before we woke up and didn't come home until a little before 7:00. We went to the event for a little while. I could have felt like our family was put behind the church today. but I didn't at all. Instead of feeling like he had to do certain things at the event, my husband walked around with us and played with our son. He still got to talk to lots of church members, but he did that while holding his son and involving us in the conversation. As soon as he got home tonight the two of them were together nonstop until it was bedtime. And he was with us for the entirety of Friday and Saturday before that. Not only is it how he includes us while we're together but also because it is not a regular thing for him to spend way more time on church things than with us. Some days or some weeks are busier than others, like all careers or roles, but that just happens. A lot of ministers allow every day, every week to be filled up though because after all, it is God's work.
My husband is wonderful minister to our church, in my opinion, and it has everything to do with what is is based on- his relationship with Christ. He is genuine in his interactions and leadership because of that. He makes it easy for us to be a minister's family, even on Sundays, and for that I am grateful.
He works at a great church for this. The pastor is clear that he expects the church family to understand that the staff of ministers are husbands and fathers first. This is rare and it makes it easier for my husband to balance his time. And many of the church members seem to get this because the ministers have done this balance well.