Thursday, March 4, 2010

How Firm a Foundation

As I laid down tonight (before I got up again to blog!), I felt emotionally tired. It can be hard to deal with people. The thing is, my line of work is people so I should be used to it! I don't think I'll ever be used to it though and sometimes it is a little more draining than other times. Not bad, just draining.

It has been an interesting two days. It started yesterday morning in my counseling work, which I can't divulge, but I can say that I was discouraged and sad. Then yesterday evening was filled with a lot of joy: I had so much fun playing with my growing little boy outside and then as I got him ready for bed I was reminded of how much he is learning and was overwhelmed with happiness for the little boy he is. At the youth group meeting that night, I watched two of the girls that I help teach really minister to a new girl and show her compassion and love, finding out later that this was the first time this girl had come back to a church after being treated hurtfully by another "church". I was in such a positive mood and had called my friend to tell her about the story when I got a call from another family. Everything immediately changed when I learned about a horrible tragedy in this family and they called me because of my profession as a counselor. That began conversations that included knowledge I wish I didn't have to have and my heart has been broken for that family. When my husband came home, we talked through that matter but I also shared what happened with those girls, still feeling excited for that time in the evening. Two other girls, that I have known for years, were brought up though and they are facing some real struggles and I need to reach out to them. As we talked in the dark, both my husband and I commented on the never ending work it is when it comes to people, both positive and not.

Then today came. It is my big counseling day but the early sessions didn't even play much into my feelings tonight. The day started with frustrations with the inconsistency of my job, went to continued discouragment from the earlier mentioned client's case, to sadness over decisions that friends are making about their marriage. And then an amazing thing happened, giving my husband and I hope for a friend of ours. I am still so excited about that one. Then I went to a group counseling session that I help with where I experienced great sadness for some of the ladies' pain but also encouraged with the work that was being done in their lives.

That is where I am tonight. I have felt the ups and downs of emotions, not for my own situations but for others. Usually I can handle it pretty well, that is one of the ways God has prepared me for my line of work. And really, I can say I am handling it fine right now. I am just tired. I am grateful for the positive moments in the middle of the difficult ones because they help me to have a breather and remain hopeful. Plus, I got an unexpected extra hour to hang out with my husband and son and we spent it enjoying the sunshine at the park. That is the best break from reality (or really, it is a cleared perspective of reality) that I can have!

Tonight when I laid down, my overwhelming prayer was a gratefulness that God doesn't change. He is a solid foundation to stand on when everything else is constantly shifting. I can rest in knowing that he is faithful in all that he promises and does not disappoint.

Every good and perfect gift is from above, coming down from the Father of the heavenly lights, who does not change like shifting shadows.
James 1:17