Monday, September 1, 2008

Final "I love my church" Post (for now)

I have been slow to write about this because every time I started, I couldn’t figure out how what exactly to write. I’ve written three or four drafts already but they never quite addressed what I wanted.

If you have read my blog in the past, you have read about the church I have been a part of and how much I love it. Well, the decision was made to close it a few weeks ago and we no longer meet together. That was a very difficult thing for me, as it was for many of my church family. We have since moved back to the sending campus and are transitioning into new roles there.

I have debated what to write about. Do I write about what I miss? I miss my church family who were so kind to us, I miss serving with a group that was such an amazing team, I miss my husband leading worship, I miss getting to play the keyboard, I miss showing up early and staying late, I miss knowing I was a part of something great…but that wasn’t really what I wanted to write about.

So do I write about what I loved about our campus? I loved the people, I loved the sense of community, I loved the atmosphere of worship, I loved watching the Body of Christ in action, I loved the leadership team my husband was a part of, I loved the challenge…but that too wasn’t what I wanted to write about.

Do I write about the feelings that have come from this? Denial, anger, confusion, sadness…no, again that is not what I wanted to write about. Plus, it would probably just get me in trouble.

So, what do I write about? I think it is what I have learned through this. Or, maybe I should say am currently learning. We went to this new campus over 2 ½ years ago knowing that God called us to go. We knew we were called there a year before that. I still have no doubt that we were obedient in going. So why would God lead us to something that would end so painfully? I’m not positive, but I do know that I am still grateful that He did. In that time I got to experience real community in a church, find real joy in service, met some amazing friends and built genuine relationships, learned so much about ministry…I will probably never know all that I learned. As much as it hurt, and still hurts, to have the door close on something we had poured our hearts into, I would not think twice about doing it again. So, the most important thing I have learned is that God is trustworthy and faithful. It makes it much easier to be obedient to the next thing He calls us to because I know that God has another incredible experience in store for us.

I thank my God every time I remember you. In all my prayers for all of you, I always pray with joy because of your partnership in the gospel from the first day until now, being confident of this, that he who began a good work in you will carry it on to completion until the day of Christ Jesus. Philippians 1:3

No comments: