Thursday, July 31, 2008

Closing the Library

I love to learn. If I have a question about something I go to the internet or a book immediately to find the answer and I don't stop at one person's answer, I look up multiple sources on the subject. The main reason Ph.D work is still tempting for me is because of all of the research I will be able to do for a dissertation. I took a test at a previous job regarding personality and strengths (or something like that) and the clearest response for my personality is that I enjoy learning new things and doing the research for the topic.

So, having a new baby has allowed me plenty of new topics to learn about! You see, I had no clue about what to do with a baby so I read all through my pregnancy and have tried to read a lot whenever a new issue with him arises. I am sure that my husband, mom and anyone else I talk to are so sick of hearing "well I read this and they said..."

But, I am learning more and more that I need to just stop reading all of that stuff and stick with the mommy gut. No, not the gut left over from pregnancy but that voice inside that says "he is your little boy and you have been with him for the past almost 4 months, not that researcher." So, I am shelving some of those books so to speak. Sure, I'll keep reading just because I like learning but I am not going to base who I am as a mother on what they say.

The way I see it, women have been mothers since Eve had Cain and Abel. She didn't have books to read or a website to search. Sure, some may say she didn't do so well seeing as how one son killed the other but that is another story :). The point is, God made me to be my son's mother and no one else so I have to know that God will give me the wisdom to know how to care for him. Remind me of that the next time I quote a message board.

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