A Letter to Me

There is a country song out right now called “A Letter to Me” by Brad Paisley. The basic premise of the song is what an adult would say to his 17 year old self if given the chance.

It has caused me to think of what I would say as a 25 year old to myself when I was in high school.

1. You really are smart enough.
2. Those boys you try so hard to impress are nothing compared to the man you will marry (and get this, you won’t even have to try and impress him- he’ll like you flaws and all).
3. Spend more time downstairs hanging out with your family.
4. You will one day be able to talk to those girls who make you feel inferior and actually feel good about yourself. And you’ll realize that they really weren’t all that cool.
5. Treat everyone in such a way that they will be glad to see you if you run into them in 5 years.
6. There are a few people who will be lifelong friends and it might surprise you who they are.
7. Don’t be so trusting of some of those girls because you’ll find out later they will turn their back on you.
8. Be less concerned about fitting in and be more concerned with having character that you can be proud of when you look back.
9. Appreciate the really good teachers you have. Learn from their expertise for more than just a class credit.
10. Stop putting things off because it is a very hard habit to break as an adult.
11. You have no idea how happy you will be as an adult- and it is completely different than you imagine.
12. And a line from the song that I think is a good one: "These are no where near the best years of your life."

Mommy 101

In my short experience as a counselor, I really enjoyed doing premarital counseling. I believe in the importance of that time of preparation for a healthy start to a marriage. I now think there needs to be a new form of counseling introduced: Premothering Counseling. I am blown away at how little I know about being a mother! I have not been around a lot of babies so I knew there was a lot to learn about feeding, caring for, etc. But, I am now beginning to think that will be the easy stuff compared to everything else I have to learn!

I took part in a Bible study with my church last semester called Motherwise, thinking that it would be beneficial to me as I learned how to be a mother. I loved the study and being with other mothers but I always left the study with an even greater awareness of how little I know! Sure I can learn about his development and basic care techniques from a book or another mom but what about the other things? I can handle a scraped knee but I am not sure how to “kiss away” the sadness that comes a friend that is mean, his first failure, when he has to make a decision when experiencing peer pressure, when life just isn’t fair…all of the events in life that are inevitable but still hard.

I tripped over some steps a few days ago (still not remembering to adjust to a pregnant body). I was completely fine and my husband caught me before I hit more than a shin so there was no reason for alarm, just embarrassment. But afterwards I couldn’t quite shake it off and I realized it was because I was so upset that I could have caused my baby any harm. I even wondered if it had scared him when I fell, knowing full well that medical knowledge would say no. I caused me to think about how I will react to the times that I can’t prevent him getting hurt, physically or emotionally. I know that those times will happen and I also know that he has the chance to be a better person from how he learns from those things happening. But I am already learning that as a mama, logical thinking doesn’t mean as much when your child is hurting.

I have so much to learn! I only have about 3 months left before the big test arrives and there are no retakes. Still, the most important lesson I learned from Motherwise is how I can find the wisdom a mother needs. I have a perfect heavenly Father that not only knows me but he knows and loves my son and has promised to meet all of our needs.

A Dead Battery but a Congregation Full of Life

This is another "I love my church" post...

A little background information on the church I am a part of: we are a regional campus of a church which simply means that we are a part of that church but meet in a different location. We have a live worship team but the sermon is from the pastor of the main campus and it is a video. We are a young group and have been meeting for about a year and a half at a school. Meeting at a school means that we must set up a church every Sunday morning. All of it- chairs, sound system, nursery and children's rooms, etc. A faithful group meets early every Sunday morning to set it all up and then pretty much the whole congregation helps to take it all down after the service. It has been done that way for each Sunday for the last year and a half. Everything we have is transported to the school in a large box truck.

So begins Sunday's adventure...
My husband is the worship pastor of the campus. As we were on our way to church early Sunday morning, he gets a call from the campus pastor saying that the truck's batteries are completely dead. This was at the time the truck should have arrived at the school so that the setup could begin and all would be ready for a proper sound check and in plenty of time for everything to be worked out. The truck not starting means that everything we need to set up for a service will possibly be stuck in a storage spot 30 minutes from the school.

Of course there are back up plans. First, the main campus got to work in finding us new batteries. That didn't work though so they continued to jump the dead batteries, bringing in a larger vehicle to jump it. So, my husband gathered the main campus' portable sound system and we headed out to the school while the campus pastor began to prepare a sermon in record time. We were still hoping that the batteries would charge but were planning for alternatives, just in case.

This could have been very stressful but that was not the atmosphere we arrived to when we reached the campus. There was a group that had already been there for almost an hour, waiting to set up. But there was no grumbling, no complaining, just a group of people ready to do whatever needed to be done. We set up what was there and the praise team warmed up with just the guitar. My husband and the campus pastor spoke and decided if they did not get word in the next 10 minutes that the truck was started then they would go to plan B. This meant that they would use a very basic sound setup with a portable system, my husband and his guitar and with the pastor preaching his recently penned sermon. As for the kids, well, God bless the teachers! Soon after that though, they got a phone call that the truck had started and they were making the drive that would still take about 30 minutes.

At 10:25 the truck pulled into the parking lot. Our service begins at 11:00! What happened when the truck arrived was pretty incredible. Everyone who was there immediately went into action unloading and setting up. People who usually serve in other areas were pulling carts, setting up the children's rooms, unloading cables and doing whatever needed to be done. One gentleman, who normally vacuums, had already been on his hands and knees to clean the carpet so that we wouldn't have to wait for the rooms to be vacuumed. I never heard someone say "would you please help us." There wasn't a need because everyone participated willingly. It was down to the wire but at 11:00, we were ready to begin! It was unbelievable.

But then again, it was not unbelievable if you know our congregation. I told my husband as we were driving out to the church, not knowing what would happen, that in this kind of event I was so glad to be a part of our congregation because I knew whatever happened would be fine. We have such a great group who are always willing to sacrifice and would not complain about not having a perfect setting. As everyone was rushing around setting up, the children's ministry coordinator and I agreed that we were watching the Church in action, as they are supposed to be. I am so grateful to be able to be a part of a church where the congregation has such amazing attitudes. As we were waiting to see what happened with the truck, I prayed that in whatever happened God would be glorified in it. I have no doubt that he was. Only he could have allowed us to set up in 30 minutes and for the truck to start when it did. Only he could give a group of people the kind of attitudes that would be so willing to serve and work and do whatever it takes, all with cheerfulness. I believe that the attitude of the group brought him honor and the service was one of worship.

What a great morning!

Treasuring and Pondering

Again, our Bible study with the youth has led to another blog.

Tonight, as part of our study of the Christmas story, we read of the responses of the shepherds, Simeon, Anna and the wisemen as they worshiped Christ. They all recognized the magnitude of His birth and the fulfillment of God's promise. We read multiple passages and looked up the context in the prophecies in the Old Testament but there were two brief sentences in those passages that struck my husband and me.

Luke 2:19- "But Mary treasured all these things, pondering them in her heart" and Luke 2:33- "And His father and mother were amazed at the things which were being said about Him." The first verse is included right after the shepherd's visit Jesus, on the night of his birth. The second verse is Joseph and Mary's response while at the Temple where they were presenting Jesus as a baby and Simeon had just proclaimed His as Christ.

What struck us was that even amidst the miraculous surrounding events of his birth, Jesus was still the first son of a young couple. What must Mary have been thinking the night he was born? Beyond the fact that a bunch of men had just come to visit after a huge group of angels had sent them because her baby happened to be the Messiah...she was a young mother who was holding her little boy for the first time. And their first time to take Jesus out in public they were probably just like all proud parents but instead of hearing how cute their little boy was, they were told about how he was to bring salvation to the world.

I can't imagine the emotions that Mary and Joseph felt. In a few months I will be holding my newborn son. My son will not be the promised Messiah, I won't be visited by smelly shepherds or royalty that studied stars and his birth will not be the fulfillment of thousands of years of prophecy and waiting. But he will be our son, given to us by God. After all of the events of his birth, the visitors, the emotions...I know that I too will treasure all of those things and ponder them in my heart.

Such a Time as This

We lead a Bible study each week for a group of teenagers and are pausing in our study of Romans for a look at the Christmas story. Tonight we studied the first chapter of Luke, including the telling of the future births of John the Baptist and Jesus.

It is very interesting reading the accounts now that I am pregnant. I was particularly struck by what was told to Zechariah about his son, John. Gabriel told him, "Many of the people of Israel will he bring back to the Lord their God. And he will go on before the Lord, in the spirit and power of Elijah, to turn the hearts of the fathers to their children and the disobedient to the wisdom of the righteous—to make ready a people prepared for the Lord." (Luke 1:16-17) That is a pretty high calling for Zechariah's son and I cannot imagine what it would be like to be told that my son would be used by God to lead His people in such a way.

It reminds me of when I listened to a teaching from the Old Testament book of Esther when I was just about six weeks pregnant. Esther was a woman used by God to save her people and one of my favorite verses is what is said to her by her cousin: "And who knows but that you have come to royal position for such a time as this?" (Esther 4:14b). I remember at that time wondering what my baby's "time such as this" is? Why did God choose to bring my son to this world at this point in history? What is the plan for his life and how will God choose to use him?

I am so excited to see all that God will do in his life. It causes me to pray for him, that he will be obedient and ready to be used by God. It also encourages me to be a mother that guides him to be a godly man. Because who knows but that he has come to position for such a time as this?

What is it all about?

I am full on in the Christmas spirit! I am listening to Christmas music, making my lists and plans, parking my self in front of A Charlie Brown Christmas last night…it is on full swing! We are decorating our home for Christmas this week and that really sets me in a Christmasy mood. It is always a fun time for us and I enjoy the warmth of our apartment.

We are in a new apartment this year so we are trying to decide new places for all of our decorations. I collect nativity scenes and I am beginning to have quite a few. I was struggling to find the best way to display them because I don't like putting a nativity scene next to something like a Santa Claus or snowman. They just don't fit together and something about it looks incorrect so I don’t. It caused me to think about how that applies to this season. I try to mix the meaning and purpose of Christmas in with all of the other secular things and sometimes it just doesn’t fit together. One always ends up distracting from the other and for me, it is unfortunately the spiritual celebration. I know it will only get harder when I have a child next year so I am now trying to make an effort to not let myself get too distracted.

That is what I love about A Charlie Brown Christmas. Charlie gets so fed up with the commercialism and stress of the season and finally cries out “isn’t there anyone out there who can tell me what Christmas is all about?” Charlie has a faithful friend in Linus who very simply tells him what Christmas is all about. It is such a sweet moment and it causes me to think “oh yeah, that is what it is all about.” I love Christmas and wouldn’t ever want to change all that is involved with it. I just want to make sure in all of it, that I remember that all it is really about is fulfillment of God’s promise to bring salvation to his people. After all, “That's what Christmas is all about, Charlie Brown.”

Anticipations

Today I had another appointment with my doctor to see how our little guy is doing. His heartbeat is my favorite sound in the world. It brings such a mix of emotions: amazement that there are two hearts beating inside of me right now, relief that he is healthy and joy at hearing my little boy. I am more impatient by the day for him to arrive!

Now that we know he is a boy and call him by his name, it is even more fun to dream about life with him. I imagine his personality and am so excited to experience life with him. Anything we do now, my husband and I talk about what it will be like next year when we have him. It is amazing that I have not met him but I absolutely love my son and would easily give up my life for him. It is such a wonderous thing.